Whose Opinions Are You Letting Run Your Life?

May 30

What Adversity Taught Me

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced in my life is my dyslexia.

Growing up, the struggle wasn’t just academic— it was the constant feeling of never being enough.

I felt like I had to work twice as hard just to keep up, and the frustration of needing extra time and always feeling behind took its toll. But what hurt the most? Worrying about what others thought of me.

Did you know that nearly 70% of people admit they’ve avoided pursuing their goals due to fear of judgment? That statistic blows my mind!

For years, I let the judgment of others and the stories I made up about what they might be thinking define how I saw myself.

Sometimes, all it takes is one moment of judgment for us to convince ourselves that everyone sees us the same way. And that’s exactly what happened to me.

The fear of failure and the anxiety of being judged kept me stuck in a relentless cycle of overthinking.

I’d constantly ask myself:

Do they think I’m dumb?
Did what I just said even make sense?
Will I ever be good at something?
Will I ever belong?
What will they think of me?

You don’t have to be dyslexic to wrestle with these questions.

Most of us, especially neurodivergent individuals with ADHD or learning disabilities, find ourselves trapped in this cycle at some point. In fact, 60% of people underestimate their abilities because of preconceived notions about what others think. Isn’t that wild?

When I started playing sports and going to the gym consistently, something shifted.

I discovered a voice I didn’t know I had. As my confidence grew, I realized I didn’t have to live by anyone else’s standards. Becoming the captain of my high school soccer team gave me a sense of purpose and leadership.

Lifting heavy weights at CrossFit showed me that I could push beyond my limits. The more I proved to myself that I could do hard things, the more I realized I could create my own path.

I made a conscious decision to stop focusing on what others thought and started tuning into my own voice.

I prioritized what I could control—my attitude, preparation, and effort. (I explored this concept in-depth in my last blog—check it out here!)

Shifting my mindset wasn’t easy.

It took years of introspection and navigating discomfort, but it taught me lessons I’ll carry for a lifetime.

These principles go far beyond dyslexia—they’re universal.

Whether you’re an ambitious high achiever, an athlete, a parent, or someone striving to overcome self-doubt, fear, or criticism, these lessons can empower you to take control of your own narrative and push through adversity.

The Framework for Growth

Find the Opportunity in the Hard Stuff
Hard things aren’t just there to mess with you—they’re there to teach you something. It’s not about the struggle itself but about what you can take away from it. So ask yourself: What can I learn here? How can this make me stronger?
Focus on Right Now
Stop stressing about things you can’t control. Seriously, it’s not worth it. Instead, focus on what’s happening right in front of you. Ask yourself: Can I sit with this discomfort and just be here? Take it one step at a time, connect with your breath, and focus on: what’s showing up for me right now, and what can I actually do about it?
Get Curious About the Hard Stuff
Every setback has something to teach you—if you’re open to it. Instead of getting stuck in frustration, approach challenges like a detective. Ask: What’s this here to show me? How can I grow from it? Successful people don’t avoid adversity; they get curious about it.
Adversity is Part of the Process
Nobody’s story is smooth sailing all the time. Struggles are part of the process—they’re what shape us. The hard stuff you’re going through isn’t unusual; it’s what helps you grow into the person you’re meant to be.
Share Your Struggles
Don’t keep your tough moments to yourself—share them. You’d be surprised how your story can inspire someone else to keep going. Plus, talking about it helps you process and learn more about yourself. It’s like a win-win: you grow, and others get encouraged.
It’s All About How You See It
Perspective is everything. Everyone sees life through their own lens; it’s all about perception. When you realize that, it shifts how you view your challenges. Instead of thinking, Instead of thinking, “This is a weakness,” try flipping it: What strength is this helping me build? How you see the hard stuff determines how you grow from it.

Here’s the truth: adversity is inevitable, but growth is a choice. It’s not the challenges we face that define us—it’s how we respond to them and whose voices we allow to shape our reality.

Every morning, I wake up and choose growth. I choose discomfort. I say out loud, “Thank you for this opportunity to prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to.” And it makes all the difference.

Other People’s Opinions Are Not Your Identity

Someone else’s opinion of you doesn’t change what you’re capable of.

It doesn’t increase or decrease your likelihood of success.

It’s just an opinion.

It’s just information.

So why let it dictate your journey?

Why allow someone’s words, or their silence, to shake your confidence?

Think about it for a moment. How often do we let a comment, or even the lack of one, make us second-guess ourselves?

But here’s the thing: they don’t see the hard work. They don’t see the early mornings, the late nights, the extra effort when no one is watching, or the constant dedication you put in.

And yet, we often let their words creep into our minds as if their opinions could somehow erase all the sweat and effort we’ve poured into our growth.

But here’s the truth: their opinions only matter if you let them.

The next time doubt starts to creep in, whether from someone else’s judgment or your own, pause and ask yourself:

Do they know what I’ve been through?
Have they seen the work I’ve put in?

The only opinion that truly matters is the one you form through your own actions and growth. Don’t waste your energy trying to change what others think—focus instead on proving yourself right through the work you’re doing.

Action Plan: Act Before You Feel Ready

Performance is not about feeling ready or confident—it’s about showing up and doing the work. Opinions, whether positive or negative, don’t change your ability to take action. Here are a few questions to consider::

Am I focusing on doing the work or worrying about what others think?
Have I put in the reps, mentally and physically, to back up my actions?
Where do I need to place my focus to keep pushing forward?

Remember, you don’t need to feel 100% ready or confident to perform. Trust the process, trust your preparation, and let your actions speak louder than any opinion.

"There may be people who have more talent than you, but there’s no excuse for anyone to work harder than you." – Derek Jeter

Let’s Keep Growing: What’s Next For You

Thank you for being here. Really. Every time you open one of these blogs, it means something, and I don’t take that lightly.

If this sparked something for you, I’d love to hear it. Just hit reply or email me at ellin@mentallyfitwithellin.com. And if you enjoyed this read, the best compliment you could give is to share it with one person.

If you’re new here or my thoughts from this week really resonated with you, I’d love to talk more. Community is everything to me, and my 10-minute community chats throughout the week are something I always look forward to. Here’s the link to set one up!

Mentally Fit With Ellin is a community of thousands like-minded people committed to growth, resilience, and mental performance. As a licensed therapist and performance coach, Ellin Gurvitch, started this to give everyone access to the tools needed to develop sustainable habits and enhance mental well-being. For more Mentally Fit With Ellin, make sure you’re subscribed so that each week you’ll receive practical mindset tools and performance strategies delivered to your inbox.

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